Missing Mom

 Read this beautiful piece, The Agenda For Today,  in the New York Times New Old Age blog that so captured the experience of losing your mom to Alzheimer’s. “I try to imagine a life that is composed of still gray trees and bright blue sky, leafless, cold and unchanging. For the first time, I feel like I understand what dementia really means. For her there is no future. There is no past. There is only the endless now. I thought I could take care of her, that we could live together and she could do her thing and I could do my thing. I did not understand the profound loss, the way meaning drains out of every familiar thing, the dreadful hunger of someone who can hold nothing but the present moment. ”

The author. Celia Watson Seupel, is lucky, her mom still lives, and they face the days of memory and forgetting together.  I remember my mom vividly even though the edges of her personality were increasingly blurred. The last time I saw her still at home, she sang to me “I love you, too”  in response to my I love you. Her spirit was so sweet, her voice so true, so mom. I really miss her today.

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