When I was little, my mom would put a hot water bottle under our blankets to warm the bed on cold winter nights. Today, I think you should just put a want ad in Craiglist for a menopausal woman!

My bed gets so toasty at night. Well maybe not toasty unless you like soggy toast. Within minutes of going to bed, my nightly sweats start, raging on and off throughout the dark hours. My current practice is to flip pillows throughout the night whenever they get hot. I turnover my neck pillow to the cool side and do the same to the one under my knees. When both sides are hot, I start swapping pillows on the bed. We keep a couple extra in the middle of the bed for just that purpose. It also serves as a buffer, keeping the heat wave on my side so as not to saute my partner! We keep the AC on year round to try to cool me down. But that means the room is freezing in the morning. He complains that his head is cold.  I say “wear a hat.”

God has a wild sense of humor. Is this really necessary? It’s enough that my hormones are still flagging and my body is sagging.  You could even say my mood is ragging, except it’s been awhile since I’ve been on the rag. How long will this last? It’s been going on for years. It’s warm in here and I can’t do a damn thing about it!

These night sweats wake me in a cold sweat. Destroy my dreams, make me go pee, then keep me mercilessly awake till around 6 am when I finally drift into deep, unheated sleep. The best two hours of my night!

So, I am a red hot mama in need of a fire hose and that’s not the punchline to a dirty joke. Just a sweaty one.

Related Articles

• Sleeping with the Enemy? Hot Men, Cold Women And The Battle Over Bedclothes (apartmenttherapy.com)
• Menopausal Night Sweats: Why They Happen and How to Cope (everydayhealth.com)