You need to be a caveman to eat the Paleo Diet. Confessions of a carboholic

Ed-U-Card Flintstones Rummy
Image by andertoons via Flickr

I am not a caveman. I am a carbie…. a card carrying carbohydrate junkie. I tried the Paleo Diet (aka Caveman Diet) and flunked. Big time.

Two weeks ago, I decided to finally deal with the pounds I’ve been trying to lose for two years. Having heard about the great successes of the Paleo Diet, I decided to give it a try.

The Caveman Diet theorizes that people weren’t meant to eat our modern day, high carb diet but rather should exist mostly on animal protein and lots of raw fresh fruits and vegetable.  Not potatoes you need to stop and pull from the ground but the fruits you find hanging off a tree when you’re hauling a stegosourus carcass back to your cave. Caveman no eat bread. Me no eat bread. or cookies. or cake. or ice cream. or chocolate. That was the plan.

This diet did not work. Sorry, Flintstones but I am a not a caveman. I am a carboholic. My mind and body rebelled. Not to mention that I’m not even a carnivore. The dinosaurs would surely still be around if I lived in Paleolithic times.

For two weeks, I tried to consume more chicken,  fish, turkey and eggs. I ate fruit and veggies, mostly raw. I hated it. I was sad and hungry. So, one day I gave myself a tiny little treat. A hard candy. It’s just a little tiny speck of sugar, I told myself.  Then I had a cookie at a baby shower (can’t be a curmudgeon at a party). Then ice cream and berry pie at a friend’s house. (you can’t insult your friends).  So, why the hell not eat a bagel on Sunday morning. The program is shot to hell anyways.

So, now I’m back to eating carbs, carbs carbs. Those  pounds are destined to stick around (and i do mean round). I just hope more pounds don’t join them. And there was a retirement party today with lots of carbolicious treats. And, really, the holidays are no time to act like a neaderthal.

Paleo Diet be gone. I’m back to enjoying all my basic food groups (cookies, ice cream, chocolate & bread). Happy Holidays to me. I am not a caveman. I am a human being. A happy one.

Experimenting with a Paleo diet to try to comb...
Image by J Deamer via Flickr


  1. Try Look for Dr. McDougall’s Free Program. You can eat all the carbs you want and I promise if you follow his program it will change your life. I’ve been on it for two years and have never felt better.

    My main motivation was to feel better. By following the program I not only felt better I lost 40 pounds effortlessly without ever being hungry.

    Try it. I also suggest the discussion board and getting Dr. McDougall’s book “The McDougall Program for Maximum Weight Loss.

    Good luck. You’ll enjoy it much more than the paleo/atkins type diet you tried.


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