I am not a coffee snob or a cafe curmudgeon. Not a Blue Bottle devotee or a Nespresso Nexpert. I’m just a working class gal who needs a strong cup of coffee to start her day & kick the ol noggin into gear. And lately, I’ve been getting a bad start.

Having worked at the same nonprofit for years, I’ve developed a routine. Come in, turn on computer and carry my cup to the coffee room where a rich cup of coffee awaited. I made sure of that by buying good coffee (Peets, Illy or Starbucks) and writing precise instructions on how to brew a perfect pot with our little cheapo coffee maker.  Use three  1/4 cup scoops to 9 cups of water. The result was a biological/chemical marvel– the seratonin rushes in, the cerebral spark plugs start firing and I am good to go. A few of my colleagues adopted this formula and we strong coffee lovers were set for great mornings.

Then, the nonprofit, in its infinite wisdom, decided to buy a professional coffee maker. No more amateur hour. No more pouring of water, the coffee maker is self-watering. All that’s needed is to dump the right amount of coffee into the filter. And there’s the rub. Nobody seems to know the precise quantity of coffee needed for this uber carafe. The result is weak, watery coffee. One person called it brown tea…but that’s insulting to tea.

It’s Tuesday and the second day of watery coffee this week. And I can’t cope. I may need to bring in & hook up my old Krups or buy a french press and make my own. I don’t like being a whining, complaining grump in the morning. But I can’t deal with this drecky coffee (if you know yiddish, you’ll know that’s not good).

Today’s noir-ish cartoon video by Gary Lieb in the New York Times captured my noir-ish mood. It’s called “Coffee Nerves NY.”  I guess you can call me Coffee Nerves SF.  And I’ve got it bad.

Maybe tomorrow will be a good coffee day. I’m willing to hope. At heart, I am a wide-eyed optimist. But it’s strong coffee that helps make me that way!

Can you survive bad corporate coffee?
Coffee Nerves New York  Video

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